you ever wanted to be somewhere so bad
i have...i dream of getting away
theres this place ive been trying to go for so long
its like a far away country
or a deserted island
a place with no longitude or latitude
it doesnt take a plane or train to get there
cash and credit is not accepted
i close my eyes and dream
and even while im dreaming i get distracted
distracted by the very reasons i dream
reminding me that i need to get there
and when i do im going to treasure that place
eyes closed ears open and the only sound i hear is coming from me
my breaths taken deeply and i can feel
what it feels like to be alone to feel free
a place i built for myself
a dream that could never be dreamed
never getting away
that world is just too far
i dont think that place exists
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
a special little story
I GOT THIS STORY IN MY EMAIL AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH YOU GUYS.
"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake and mountains in the background. A boat floated in the water and beautiful houses lined the shores. There were flowers and trees, lovers strolling arm in arm and people walking their dogs.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
Once the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Time passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate to describe such wonderful things outside the window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
Today is a gift; that is why it is called 'the Present.' "
"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake and mountains in the background. A boat floated in the water and beautiful houses lined the shores. There were flowers and trees, lovers strolling arm in arm and people walking their dogs.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
Once the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Time passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate to describe such wonderful things outside the window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
Today is a gift; that is why it is called 'the Present.' "
Saturday, April 11, 2009
this too will pass
Earlier i wrote about how stressed out i was. I was lacking faith. I went to church and it made me feel alot better. It put me back on track. This is what i left with.
*FEED YOUR FAITH && STARVE YOUR DOUBTS
*FEAR TOLERATED IS FAITH CONTAMINATED
*I RECOGNIZE THAT TESTS COME IN LIFE BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL... 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13
*EVERY TRIAL HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE
*GOD WILL PROVIDE THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT
take it how you want. i dont wanna explain it because i kno what it means to me. Now im feeling like a winner because I am winning. My heart is fixed I trust God. My stripes are healed. :)
*FEED YOUR FAITH && STARVE YOUR DOUBTS
*FEAR TOLERATED IS FAITH CONTAMINATED
*I RECOGNIZE THAT TESTS COME IN LIFE BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL... 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13
*EVERY TRIAL HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE
*GOD WILL PROVIDE THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT
take it how you want. i dont wanna explain it because i kno what it means to me. Now im feeling like a winner because I am winning. My heart is fixed I trust God. My stripes are healed. :)
big ole cry baby
NO FAITH,,,
NO STRENGTH,,,
LOWER THAN LOW,,,
I don't understand how my life got to the place its at. I'm always mad, upset, discontent. I'm disconnected fom myself. I keep fuckin crying and its pissing me off. I cried yesterday on the bus on the train while I was walking. I woke up this morning crying and haven't stopped since. I'm a big fuckin crybaby. I hate the life I'm living. I wish there was a fast forward button. Its stressful. I try to have faith but I'm losing it. Optimism is not working. A million interviews and another apartment lost. I'm gonna be 21 with nothing. Frustrated!!! This isn't the life I planned. I honestly didn't see it coming. I miss my old life. I miss school, I miss working, I miss independence. I miss being tired from days with not enough hours. I miss being to bizzy for myself. Now I'm just sick and tired. Where did I go.
NO STRENGTH,,,
LOWER THAN LOW,,,
I don't understand how my life got to the place its at. I'm always mad, upset, discontent. I'm disconnected fom myself. I keep fuckin crying and its pissing me off. I cried yesterday on the bus on the train while I was walking. I woke up this morning crying and haven't stopped since. I'm a big fuckin crybaby. I hate the life I'm living. I wish there was a fast forward button. Its stressful. I try to have faith but I'm losing it. Optimism is not working. A million interviews and another apartment lost. I'm gonna be 21 with nothing. Frustrated!!! This isn't the life I planned. I honestly didn't see it coming. I miss my old life. I miss school, I miss working, I miss independence. I miss being tired from days with not enough hours. I miss being to bizzy for myself. Now I'm just sick and tired. Where did I go.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
musically beautiful
he made beautiful sounds
with his fingers
it was like the strings were his bestfriends
better yet his wives striving to be better then the next
competing to get his touch
fighting but not realizing they work well together
and his voice was
unexplainable
it gave me a feeling of joy
the type of happiness that
brings tears to your eyes
peaceful harmonies jolted
with electricity
with melodies that calmed the soul yet uneased the mind
and when the two are put together
its the forth of july
its the best sex you ever had
its winning the lottery
when the jackpot is noooow 3 hundred thousand million trillion dollars
raw music bringing out raw emotion
drawing me closer
wishing i could put him in my stereo
but left with onli a beautiful memory
of a street peddler
wishing for the first time
that the train didnt come
hoping that the sound will
force themselves through the doors
like it did into my heart
into the soul
hoping that i bump into you
i mean into him again
and if not
please let this sound make it to the airways
and out of my stereo
so i can hear wat emotions
sound like
coming out as beautiful music
echoed by the raspy
yet smooth bluesy yet rasta
chords that release your vocals
along with you fingers
that meet the string maybe a bit to often
releasing your message
your me. my needs my struggles
you your thoughts from my brain
restin upon ears of strangers strangy
not thinkin
not listening
but im singing the same things
my poetry into your lyrics damn
hope to see you around mr.strummer man
hear you around i'll be waiting
anticipating
with his fingers
it was like the strings were his bestfriends
better yet his wives striving to be better then the next
competing to get his touch
fighting but not realizing they work well together
and his voice was
unexplainable
it gave me a feeling of joy
the type of happiness that
brings tears to your eyes
peaceful harmonies jolted
with electricity
with melodies that calmed the soul yet uneased the mind
and when the two are put together
its the forth of july
its the best sex you ever had
its winning the lottery
when the jackpot is noooow 3 hundred thousand million trillion dollars
raw music bringing out raw emotion
drawing me closer
wishing i could put him in my stereo
but left with onli a beautiful memory
of a street peddler
wishing for the first time
that the train didnt come
hoping that the sound will
force themselves through the doors
like it did into my heart
into the soul
hoping that i bump into you
i mean into him again
and if not
please let this sound make it to the airways
and out of my stereo
so i can hear wat emotions
sound like
coming out as beautiful music
echoed by the raspy
yet smooth bluesy yet rasta
chords that release your vocals
along with you fingers
that meet the string maybe a bit to often
releasing your message
your me. my needs my struggles
you your thoughts from my brain
restin upon ears of strangers strangy
not thinkin
not listening
but im singing the same things
my poetry into your lyrics damn
hope to see you around mr.strummer man
hear you around i'll be waiting
anticipating
Friday, March 20, 2009
i missed my betsy boop o so much lol. i lost her we both changed our numbers but i found her on myspace lol. we worked together && got laid off together. so it was onli right to go on a job search together. so we spent the day @ a job fair a jacob javitz center.
A DAY IN THE LIVES OF
EMMA CHRISTINE && BETSY BLANCO
1st. we met up @ wendy's on 34th st&8th
2nd. we were on a worldwide search to find somewhere to print out her resume.
3rd. after travelin the nyc world we found somewhere!!!
4th. then we charmed the kinkos guy to print us free resumes on pretty resume paper. he gave us 5 :)
5th. lol she spent her a whole $5 bill to print out 2dollars worth of resumes damn homie i feel for u lol we planned on sellin the otha $3 to a customer but we had to leave:(
6th.we finally made it
7th. umm we laughed @ the guys who couldnt get in because they didnt have on a tie
8th. we looked @ the coat check && laughed yea right $3 i think i'll be wearing mine hmphh
9th. the mission begins
10th. its hot as hell && im ready to go lol
11th. we argue over wether water or soda is the real thirst quencher
12th. we thirstyyyyyyy && they got water but its not free
13th. we hand out resemes lol && betsy boop asks one of the ladies for her water lol she succeeeds
14th. we dodge all the long lines lol
15th. we bullshit the companies into being interested in us
16th. we realize they bullshittin us back"o wow thats great im gonna take ur resume && definitly give you a call" yea we caught on.
17th. betsy avoids all the female resume takers
18th. im starving!!! && they have fortune cookies but...its only at the graduate booths suckersssssssss
19th.betsy is thirsty and admits that soda is more thirst quenching
20th. we scheme on knocking over the soda cart && taking a coke...the cart pusher guy notices us watching the soda && laughs...BUSTED!!!
21st.betsy waits to talk to the resume guy...she lets 5ppl skip her before she gives up && talks to the girl......the resume guy is finished talkin to who he was talkin to as soon as she gives up lol
22nd. i go to a booth and know nothing about it. the lady asks me why i want to work there. i say im interested in working with....looks up @ the sign...BUSTED lmao she laughs and says you forgot. i say yup im interested in finding a job lol
23rd. we get on the mta line its od long we hop off
24th. we walk around and end up talking to a guy about a teaching position....ITS IN MARYLAND...betsy is ready to dip lol i smile and nod && he never stops flippin talkin then another teaching guy approaches && he doesnt stop either...i look at betsy she looks back at me i bite my lip so i wont start laughing....then we finally get away!!!
25th.we end up back on the mta line my suggestion
26th. i catch an attitude withthe resume lady lol she takes my resume and i stole it back lol it was the good resume paper can u blame me she didnt need it i got the info i needed
27th.BESTY BLANCO&&EMMA CHRISTINE EXIT!!!
28th.we stroll nyc takin pics of eachother like tourist
29th. discuss how broke we are due to our departure from AX and pray that we got a job somewhere today
30th. get to the A train && go our seperate ways byee Betsy Boop
QUESTION @ THE END OF THE DAY...
if Betsy Blanco got married to a guy with the lastname White would she have to change her lastname?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
i want it raw!/!/!
get that condom off, i want it raw
nothing standing in between us
just me&&you&&you&&I, trust me
stop tryna protect yaself im not gonna burn you
i plan on keeping you warm
take that condom off, i want it raw
wat you tryna protect yaself for?
you scared imma trap you?
you can go if you please
but once you get that condom off
you aint neva gonna wanna leave
is that the problem?
you dont wanna trap yaself?
i'll be ya protection baby
you wont need nobody else
i want it raw, passionate && intense
take that condom off
let me give it to you the way i want it
the way you need it
the way we deserve it
dont you wanna feel all of me
cuz i wanna feel all of you
i know you do
dont fight it
give it to me raw
take that condom off...
ya heart<3
&& give me all of you.
nothing standing in between us
just me&&you&&you&&I, trust me
stop tryna protect yaself im not gonna burn you
i plan on keeping you warm
take that condom off, i want it raw
wat you tryna protect yaself for?
you scared imma trap you?
you can go if you please
but once you get that condom off
you aint neva gonna wanna leave
is that the problem?
you dont wanna trap yaself?
i'll be ya protection baby
you wont need nobody else
i want it raw, passionate && intense
take that condom off
let me give it to you the way i want it
the way you need it
the way we deserve it
dont you wanna feel all of me
cuz i wanna feel all of you
i know you do
dont fight it
give it to me raw
take that condom off...
ya heart<3
&& give me all of you.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Beat it up. Or get beat up.
sexually oppressed
sexually depressed
beat it up. or get beat up!/!/!
aggressivly sexual
sexually aggressual
beat it up. or get beat up!/!/!
sometimes i wanna smash you in ya face
cuz all i want is to get smashed up in my waist
beat it up
or imma use ya face && make ya eat it up
AGGRESSIVLY SEXUAL
DONT GET BEAT UP!/!/!
but you can beat it up
matta fact make sure ya eat it up.
sexually oppressed
dont wanna be sexually depressed
COME ON && JUST BEAT IT UP!/!/!
sexually depressed
beat it up. or get beat up!/!/!
aggressivly sexual
sexually aggressual
beat it up. or get beat up!/!/!
sometimes i wanna smash you in ya face
cuz all i want is to get smashed up in my waist
beat it up
or imma use ya face && make ya eat it up
AGGRESSIVLY SEXUAL
DONT GET BEAT UP!/!/!
but you can beat it up
matta fact make sure ya eat it up.
sexually oppressed
dont wanna be sexually depressed
COME ON && JUST BEAT IT UP!/!/!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
REDEDICATION...
i stepped into this place
greeted by many smiling faces
faces that say come in and stay awhile
i walked in and looked around at all the seats
empty, filled, now its my time to find my place
smack dab in the middle center
where i always like to sit when im in MSG
as the time passed the seats began to fill
but i wasnt thinking about people i was thinking about getting the message
then it came to me
first it came to me through song
through happy and exciting words then through calm words
either way they were for me especially made just for me
then another message came
came through Creflo
it didnt matter that the Wamu was full
because he was speaking directly to me to my heart
and i let my tears flow i let them come out
and i was comfortable because those hundreds of people felt what i felt
&& i missed that feeling
the feeling of belonging of being at the right place at the right time
i forgot how it felt to feel alive and at peace
i will never forget that feeling again
because i rededictaed myself to GOD
greeted by many smiling faces
faces that say come in and stay awhile
i walked in and looked around at all the seats
empty, filled, now its my time to find my place
smack dab in the middle center
where i always like to sit when im in MSG
as the time passed the seats began to fill
but i wasnt thinking about people i was thinking about getting the message
then it came to me
first it came to me through song
through happy and exciting words then through calm words
either way they were for me especially made just for me
then another message came
came through Creflo
it didnt matter that the Wamu was full
because he was speaking directly to me to my heart
and i let my tears flow i let them come out
and i was comfortable because those hundreds of people felt what i felt
&& i missed that feeling
the feeling of belonging of being at the right place at the right time
i forgot how it felt to feel alive and at peace
i will never forget that feeling again
because i rededictaed myself to GOD
Saturday, March 7, 2009
mind ramblings!!!
hey blogger its been a while. so lets see wats goin on in my life. hmmm so much of a little bit. good&&bad, ups&&downs. blah blah blah lol. i went to the hospital to see why i've been coughing for a month. and after bein in the hospital EMERGENCY room from 7pm to 3am the result was Bronchitis. yup so i've got an inhaler now smh. && the first couple of days taking it was horrible!!! i felt like a pregnant woman in her first trimester can we say NAUSEOUS. it made me not ever want to get pregnant. i also got sum pills last day taking them is tomorrow yayyyy. && they gave me nasty ass Robitussin. CHERRY FLAVOR aka ASS IN A BOTTLE. so im just waiting for this to be over. I HATE BEIN SICK. ummm wat else well i found an apartment yayy but its onli a studio boooo. but ive decided to stop bein so picky, stubborn, siddity, watever you wanna call it. not gettin my hopes up to high let you kno wats goin on with that the results are in on Wednesday. i lost my boo. you know the one i was writting about on the vday shit. so sad butttt i'll get over it. everything happens for a reason. if its meant to be it'll be. lol so cliche but hey im getting over it. a book is getting me thru it. i love books!!! well my bestie is living my love life one step behind me lol. but she always poppin shit about me. emma ur so demanding blah blah blah. so wat? i kno wat i want and i will get it........eventually. i came to the conclusion to live my life like im 20 and stop worrying about bein that old lady living alone with cats lol. but i mean im not the type of person that is content with a bunch of niggas feeding different needs. wtf lol i just want loyalty. happiness. shit i want my bestie wrapped up into a boi i mean MAN lol but of course with a few more things she couldn't do wink wink lol.but guess wat im losing weight!!! idk if i should be happy or sad. my tummy's gettin smaller but so is my booty lol im currently wearing baggy jeans wtf they used to fit so nice ughhh. but then again im losin my belly. im bout to start working out guys. top model season 13 is takin 5'7 && under i need to get in shape. lol. anyways im in the mood for church. my spirit needs emotional healing sooooo im on my way to MSG to see Creflo do his thing. byeeeeee
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
2 bizzy 2 get bizzy. make face time.
a couple of months ago i was sitting on the 3train with no ipod no book setting mysef up for ultimate boredom. so instead of looking ppl directly in their face (which i cant flippin stand) or goin to sleep i decided i was gonna read the advirtisements that are posted all around the train. luckily today i was stuck with the best ads everrr lol the DENTYNE ICE::MAKE FACE TIME i swear i fell in love with these ads because those are the realest words ever. quite simple but ppl make it the hardest task. that day the ads were a bit longer and of course me the fein takes it and writes it in my phone lol so it says::Power down. Log off, unplug. Have mercy on your thumbs. Browse the world wide somethng else. Send some not so instant messages. Undo, hit cancel, be together. Make face time. !!!LOVEEEE IT!!! everytime i see these ads they make me sad because all i want is face time. stop fuckin calling me. come talk to me. stop fuckin textin me. come talk to me. stop fuckin i m'n me. come talk to me. MAKE FACE TIME. iv'e gotten to the point where i just get so tired of texting like wtf call me if you wanna say something. but these days ppl are too buisy to pick up a phone and dial out so what makes me think they can make face time. its gotten to the point that arguments cant even be face to face. have mercy on your fuckin thumbs wtf stop textin everything and say it. ive gotten so fed up with this technology shit. i find myself signing off aim and powering down my phone just to get a piece of mind. this shit is wack. i guess thats how dentyne ice felt. they cant even sell gum. who needs fresh breath via text message. GO BUY SOME FUCKIN GUM THEN KISS WHOEVER YOUR TEXTIN THAT KISSEY FACE TO.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Jamican Love
one of the hardest things ive done was ask my mother who my father was. tired of the bullshit lie i grew up on "your daddy's dead" a tragedy easily used to shut a young girl up. when i was 11 i asked my mom what the real deal was no lies. i wanted to know who and where i came from. She hit me with the okie doke your daddy's dead then with the you and your brother have the same father. oh how the lies never end. it made me angry because it took me 11 years to find the strength to finally ask this bitch this question. && im getting the same lies everyone else was hitting me with.i didnt give up because ive come to far. so i pressed and i pressed not knowing when she would be back again. not wanting to lose this opportunity. knowing that if i didnt get answers now i wouldnt have the strength to ask again. then she tells me your dads jamaican and his name is love. never revealing anything else no matter how much i pressed on. but i took it and i ran with it. it was better then your daddy's dead. love what kinda name is love? o well thats my daddys name. and i finally got a nationality. im not just black anymore, im jamaican. so i ran with it until i found out it was all a lie. just like all the other stories. there was no jamaican love. and she never apologized for lying. and i never forgave her. and i never asked another question. id rather know nothing then to be played like that again. now im 20 pushing 21 wishing i knew something but never finding the strength i found ten years ago. afraid to get another jamaican love.Wednesday, February 18, 2009
new sex
&& when im bent over
im not afraid to look back
because he's not afraid to look forward
as my eyes watch him as he watches all of me
i find myself biting my lip as i back that ass up
no longer staying motionless, or listening to orders
no longer crying silent tears wondering when it will all be over
but moaning and moving and enjoying and loving not hating
not wondering but hoping that this will never end
now im getting flipped over and im caught by surprise
oh shit this guys not afraid to look me dead in my eyes
im not afraid to look back
because he's not afraid to look forward
as my eyes watch him as he watches all of me
i find myself biting my lip as i back that ass up
no longer staying motionless, or listening to orders
no longer crying silent tears wondering when it will all be over
but moaning and moving and enjoying and loving not hating
not wondering but hoping that this will never end
now im getting flipped over and im caught by surprise
oh shit this guys not afraid to look me dead in my eyes
Monday, February 16, 2009
hidden...
im not conceited
neither am i confident
im more or so intrigued with myself
i look in the mirror millions of times a day
not looking at the beauty
but marveled that this body can hide so much
i look at mysef and
i search for the hurt, confusion, disdain
and all i see is the eyes nose and mouth
i see the beauty
but wheres the pain?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
i hate porn. why you ask
PORNOGRAPHY IS WACK!!!
WITH A BUNCH OF WACK NIGGAS && EVEN WACKER BITCHES
i feel that sex is art.
and that the people getting paid for it are'nt even artist.
theres no passion just smack smack smack smack
its always the same ole shit, never see shit like this...
*black man fucks white girl in the ass with a pogo stick
*alien from mars eats alien from pluto's whatever a pussy is called in plutonian
*asian girls suck on eachother...oh look at 2 chicks...oh shit there simese twins
*midget fucks a 3,000 lb rhinosourous
nope never see shit like that closest thing you see is a girl fucking a horse, could you blame her? did you see the horse(joking) but thats not ponography thas just a woman fed up...
its like a zane book
same ole story DAMN CAN I GET A STORY LINE?!?!?
and im not talking about a cop pulling over a slut for speeding. she was'nt even driving.wtf. was there even a car? (how do you say cheesey)
can we get some history or something.
PORN IS WACK!!!
FULL OF WACK NIGGAS && WACK BITCHES
WITH WEAK ASS STORY LINES.
&& i know im not the only one that thinks that.
if it was'nt the truth Kim Kardashian would'nt be such a big hit.
people wanna see some real shit.
not that bullshitass cant fuck better than me needing a director to call ACTION kinda shit.
WITH A BUNCH OF WACK NIGGAS && EVEN WACKER BITCHES
i feel that sex is art.
and that the people getting paid for it are'nt even artist.
theres no passion just smack smack smack smack
its always the same ole shit, never see shit like this...
*black man fucks white girl in the ass with a pogo stick
*alien from mars eats alien from pluto's whatever a pussy is called in plutonian
*asian girls suck on eachother...oh look at 2 chicks...oh shit there simese twins
*midget fucks a 3,000 lb rhinosourous
nope never see shit like that closest thing you see is a girl fucking a horse, could you blame her? did you see the horse(joking) but thats not ponography thas just a woman fed up...
its like a zane book
same ole story DAMN CAN I GET A STORY LINE?!?!?
and im not talking about a cop pulling over a slut for speeding. she was'nt even driving.wtf. was there even a car? (how do you say cheesey)
can we get some history or something.
PORN IS WACK!!!
FULL OF WACK NIGGAS && WACK BITCHES
WITH WEAK ASS STORY LINES.
&& i know im not the only one that thinks that.
if it was'nt the truth Kim Kardashian would'nt be such a big hit.
people wanna see some real shit.
not that bullshitass cant fuck better than me needing a director to call ACTION kinda shit.
&& thats why i hate porn
do you blame me?
or maybe i feel like this b/c of personal reasons
shrugging my shoulders
but i still hate it!
maybe im just a hater
shrugging my shoulders with one finger up!!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
whats the meaning of v.day
people feel that valentines day is all about the big gifts, the jewelry, the candy, the roses, the teddies, the materialistic shit. i mean i don't blame them because this is the way society raises us up to be. its like as soon as we start school in kindergarten on valentines day were supposed to buy each other gifts. to me that's not what its all about. I'll take a simple memory over a material object. a memory will be worth so much more. i want something that's gonna make me smile and tickle my insides. not something i can ooo and ahhhh about that wont be worth shit when the purchaser is gone. or even when there still here. what can you do with a size 2 pair of jeans next year when your pushing a six. NOTHING. what can u do with a box of chocolate when its done? SHIT IT OUT AND KEEP IT FOREVER AND EVER AMEN? i don't feel like rambling on and on but you get my drift. when i was younger i wanted this worthless shit because that's what society told me i should want. last year i had a "valentine" he brought me a teddy a rose & a chocolate. and i never took it home with me. i honestly didn't want it. call me what you want. i guess its because i didn't want him. he didn't mean anything to me. so therefore those items were worthless. I'm not looking for worthless I'm looking for priceless. the 2 v.days before that were to me much worst. i had boyfriends that so called loved me but didn't have valentines. nope no happy valentines day sweetie.no gross chocolate.no stinky rose. not even a mr.teddy. not even a simple memory that tickled my insides. Just two guys that wanted to tickle my insides. && one girl saying fuck the world and this bumass holiday. but this vday or day b4 vday (4perfect none of ya b.i reasons) was the best i could ever have. society didn't take over with worthless materials but like MasterCard it was priceless. full of uncontrollable laughter. mixed with joys and happiness. && ended with a date to do this once again same time next year.
Friday, February 13, 2009
way before v.day
i was given a gift way before valentines day
back in late October via bus
he was wrapped up tight in pretty brown and i call him my slym chocolate
no not like the bestie but oh he's the best see
cuz unlike the bestie he moved my body body, worked my body body
and while he gave me body body
he fed my mind and soul his version of chocolate covered strawberries
i got this gift way before valentines day
no box of chocolates could amount to him because
after I've stuck my finger in about every single chocolate in the box
searching as i searched for him for that one milk chocolate with caramel in the middle
i realize i've got all the chocolate with caramel right before my eyes,
and he taste so good
no amount of how many dozens of roses could ever amount to him because
roses really smell like poo oo ooo.
and one day those roses will die but we wont
and if i wanted to smell poo
i could just walk in on him while he's making number 2
you cant ask a rose to let me wipe your butt
but you can have a guy tell you when your shit stank
and still like you anyway
i got this gift of mine way before valentines via bus
and no teddy bear can compare to my teekie baby
yes it may be cute cuddly and huggable
but so is he and he's also kissable and never ever dismissible
i can hold him tight and sleep with him at night
but Mr.teddy bear
you cant hold me back like he do
giving me the security of a man
no chocolates, roses, or Mr.teddy's
could amount to the gift
of you
given to me way before v.day
via bus
back in late October
!!!SURPRISE!!!
back in late October via bus
he was wrapped up tight in pretty brown and i call him my slym chocolate
no not like the bestie but oh he's the best see
cuz unlike the bestie he moved my body body, worked my body body
and while he gave me body body
he fed my mind and soul his version of chocolate covered strawberries
i got this gift way before valentines day
no box of chocolates could amount to him because
after I've stuck my finger in about every single chocolate in the box
searching as i searched for him for that one milk chocolate with caramel in the middle
i realize i've got all the chocolate with caramel right before my eyes,
and he taste so good
no amount of how many dozens of roses could ever amount to him because
roses really smell like poo oo ooo.
and one day those roses will die but we wont
and if i wanted to smell poo
i could just walk in on him while he's making number 2
you cant ask a rose to let me wipe your butt
but you can have a guy tell you when your shit stank
and still like you anyway
i got this gift of mine way before valentines via bus
and no teddy bear can compare to my teekie baby
yes it may be cute cuddly and huggable
but so is he and he's also kissable and never ever dismissible
i can hold him tight and sleep with him at night
but Mr.teddy bear
you cant hold me back like he do
giving me the security of a man
no chocolates, roses, or Mr.teddy's
could amount to the gift
of you
given to me way before v.day
via bus
back in late October
!!!SURPRISE!!!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
questions from a young child, female
young child, female
five or maybe six
pre-k or maybe it was kindergarten
face of innocence
but not a mind
never asking children's questions
because her soul was old
older than the person that has her
bent over wondering
who,what,where,when&why.why.
who is this person taking
what is not there's and
where can I hide next time
when he comes back and
why just why?
questions from a
young child, female
five maybe six
pre-k or maybe it was kindergarten
five or maybe six
pre-k or maybe it was kindergarten
face of innocence
but not a mind
never asking children's questions
because her soul was old
older than the person that has her
bent over wondering
who,what,where,when&why.why.
who is this person taking
what is not there's and
where can I hide next time
when he comes back and
why just why?
questions from a
young child, female
five maybe six
pre-k or maybe it was kindergarten
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
one missed call
today i went downtown brooklyn to handle a few things for my cousin. when i was finished i decided that i wanted to go shopping for myself because i have'nt treated myself in a while because of lack of work. but being that my job said they could give me a few more hours i said what the hell. when i was finished i put my ipod in my ears and proceeded to walk to the bus. something made me look at my phone maybe its because i jus cant ever let it go. but anyway i looked at it and realized i had 1 MISSED CALL... it was a 212 number. which could be none other than my job. so i called back thinking they were calling me to tell me to come into work. my favorite manager picked up i said watup asked him if he called he said no it was another manager. i wasnt worried because i was also cool with him too. anyway he gets on the phone and asked me if i got a minute. im like yea. hes like ok well you know that we have been really low on hours and im sorri were gonna have to lay you off. he's like it has nothing against you. you know we love you. im like aight. hes like if you want you can re-apply in march or april if you want to come back. blah blah blah. i had 2 more months to make it officially a year. thats that bullshit.
THATS ONE MISSED CALL I WISH WAS JUST...THAT MISSED
THATS ONE MISSED CALL I WISH WAS JUST...THAT MISSED
EM'EASSZZII
if you have read my first two blogs you probably realized I've got a Jekyll && Hyde thing going on. if you came to that conclusion your right. Yup there are two of me maybe even more I could probably have a television show like Tara named after me called " THE UNITED STATES OF EMMA" But on a more serious note.
^^^LOOK UP THERE^^^
there goes me switching people on myself. Jay would say "im schitzo koo-koo clock don't tick so"
NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM
Like i was saying till I rudely interrupted myself. I've got two sides to me both named Emma unfortunately. But the Emma in the introduction is also known as Easszzii. && for obvious reasons. No I'm not a slore. Easszzii in the sense of easy going, easy to let go, easy to love, easy to live. Easszzii is a free spirit. I used to give a fuck now I give a fuck less. Nope Easszzii never gives a fuck. She's not afraid to let loose be who she be and if you don't like it o well you just wont get to laugh so hmphh. Easszzii is a cover up for the other Emma formally known as Em. Allot of people may call me this but not many people know her. She used to give a shit. Now she gives a shit more. I think Em's one of the deepest people I will ever be. Like Easszzii stated in the IntroMY LIFE IS LIKE A BOOK!!!
NOT A MOVIE!!!
you cant just sit down and watch me to know who i am
you've got to pick me up
read me from front to back
take your time
find the perfect position
put me down. just to pick me up again
take me with you when you shit.shower.sleep.
ride the train with me.bookmark me.fold a page
stop and reread me so you can have a full understandment of me.
&& when your done read the back. go back to your favorite parts
SHIT... WISH, HOPE && SEARCH
for the sequel and do it all again
because in the back of me I've got a lil section saying
THE STORY AIN'T OVER. YES THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL
&& if you cant find me in Barnes && Nobles
bet your luck I'm sitting on top of one of those tables outside
on Jamaica ave,downtown Brooklyn, or on the corner of 5th && 50th
DAMN I'M GOOD...I THINK I ALMOST JUST CAME ON MYSELF
you cant just sit down and watch me to know who i am
you've got to pick me up
read me from front to back
take your time
find the perfect position
put me down. just to pick me up again
take me with you when you shit.shower.sleep.
ride the train with me.bookmark me.fold a page
stop and reread me so you can have a full understandment of me.
&& when your done read the back. go back to your favorite parts
SHIT... WISH, HOPE && SEARCH
for the sequel and do it all again
because in the back of me I've got a lil section saying
THE STORY AIN'T OVER. YES THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL
&& if you cant find me in Barnes && Nobles
bet your luck I'm sitting on top of one of those tables outside
on Jamaica ave,downtown Brooklyn, or on the corner of 5th && 50th
DAMN I'M GOOD...I THINK I ALMOST JUST CAME ON MYSELF
But Em is the person Ive always been. She grew up with me and lived the life I lived. She is the secrets I keep behind my eyes. She is the insecurities, the fears, the heartache, the struggle. She's like Nelly's "Tip drill" video RAW && UNCUT. && you are lucky enough to meet her cuz
I'M COMING OUT, I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW, ITS TIME TO LET IT SHOW...
Monday, February 9, 2009
it was first called Defeat but i changed it to Let Life Live
...Let Life Live...
sometimes I think I'm not meant to have anything
I came into this world with nothing
&& it seems that as i progress through life I lose the little I have
or whatever I have gained
sometimes left with less than I started with
at times i let myself become defeated
then there are other times
I GO SO HARD
only ending up feeling
DEFEATED
that's when i realize
chill em, don't rush, just coast.
LET LIFE LIVE
don't stress. just breath
then it happens!!!
but i don't realize it because i wasn't paying attention
until its lost again...and once again I'm defeated.
thinking I'm not meant to have anything
taking longer to go hard && even longer to realize i need to
LET LIFE LIVE
&& it takes even longer for it to happen
do i realize it happens this time? do i pay attention? do i stop the cycle?
do i believe that i am meant to have
EVERYTHING
&& that I came into this world with
LIFE
do i realize that I have more than I ever started with
did I
LET LIFE LIVE?
or am i once again pitying myself into
DEFEAT?
I came into this world with nothing
&& it seems that as i progress through life I lose the little I have
or whatever I have gained
sometimes left with less than I started with
at times i let myself become defeated
then there are other times
I GO SO HARD
only ending up feeling
DEFEATED
that's when i realize
chill em, don't rush, just coast.
LET LIFE LIVE
don't stress. just breath
then it happens!!!
but i don't realize it because i wasn't paying attention
until its lost again...and once again I'm defeated.
thinking I'm not meant to have anything
taking longer to go hard && even longer to realize i need to
LET LIFE LIVE
&& it takes even longer for it to happen
do i realize it happens this time? do i pay attention? do i stop the cycle?
do i believe that i am meant to have
EVERYTHING
&& that I came into this world with
LIFE
do i realize that I have more than I ever started with
did I
LET LIFE LIVE?
or am i once again pitying myself into
DEFEAT?
INTRODUCTION
FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IM THE WEIRDEST PERSON THAT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL THAT YOU WILL EVER MEET...
i brush my teeth in the shower. i rarely ever wear my favorite color. i love being in love and absolutly hate being in hate. lil kim paints my toenalis every 5 days in the summer. my fingernails stay dirty and i have had everyone i've ever met clean them with a metrocard or folded dollar bill.i love everyones mom except my own. deadbeat dads suck and single fathers shouldnt get anymore credit then single mothers. i eat my boogers just as much as i pee in pools. im not afraid of bugs but i hate roaches, waterbugs && bedbugs. i love caterpillers and im infatuated with butterflies. cacoons rock!!! i still watch cartoons and i doubt i'll ever give up the disney channel. books are my life. because unlike jim jones my life is like a book. Fuck a Movie!!! i hate television but its 09' so im addicted to reality T.V. im like a human ipod. emotions equal songs to me. i would say i love any music i can dance to but i cant dance lol. R&B puts me in a zen state and HIPHOP makes me hippity hop.i dance like a white girl to cover up that i have no moves && because its absolutly exhilirating. i jump up and down screaming for no reason at all. i could probably receive a check on the 1st 3rd and the 30th lol. i love children bacause i am a kid at heart. i am the pickiest eater in the universe. hey did you know plutos not a planet anymore? check that out. i switch topics like i switch pj's. i hate panties bras and socks. if the world were mine everyone would be nakey...maybe not everyone...umm if i could meet anyone in the world it would have to be eve. no not the rapper but i wouldnt mind meeting her either. but im talkin bout that bitch that ate the forbidden fruit. then i would kick her ass shes the reason i gotta get up and dressed in the morning. nope im not a fashionista but dont get it twisted i gets cute lol. neither am i a socialite. i hate partying but i absolutly love it. i like stayin home all by my lonesome. im a purple people eater. wayyy b4 08' i loved purple when everyone was snappin on barney. I HATE::nextels bleep bleep but i love the where u at...
IM O SO TOTALLY RANDOM...
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