talking... texting... instant messaging... video chatting...
every second, minute, hour, day
for months...
now weeks && months pass by with nothing...
turning into years, and decades ... possibly
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
true love
dont think i'll ever find my true love
cuz everything i once truly loved
was truly inlove... wit sum1 else
cuz everything i once truly loved
was truly inlove... wit sum1 else
Saturday, March 6, 2010
pen to the pad
i lost the poetry within me...
or maybe i jus gave up on it... not too sure
but i kno that my mind races and i let it
i dont control it like i used to
but i got this pen and this paper
&& imma put the pen to the pad
i think the same thoughts over and over
reaching up into the thinking bubble
snatching those thoughts
and placing them in between the marble covers
or maybe i jus gave up on it... not too sure
but i kno that my mind races and i let it
i dont control it like i used to
but i got this pen and this paper
&& imma put the pen to the pad
i think the same thoughts over and over
reaching up into the thinking bubble
snatching those thoughts
and placing them in between the marble covers
Thursday, February 4, 2010
i wrote a poem the other day and as i was finishing it up i deleted it by accident. kinda wish i brought that pad i saw a couple of weeks back because i would still have my feelings down on paper. rather than having it vanished into thin air. it took me a week to get down the explination of how i felt. it was perfectly written. and im still kinda angry that its lost. i actually teared for a sec. and im still kinda pissed off. But anyway it was an explination as to why i choose to be alone rather than be with any1 in any in any way shape or fashion. i cannot be with any1 until i get myself back. The energy and passion for dating likeing loving or fucking. once again im broke down. and the funniest thing is this same time last yr was completly ready. happy excited and willing. i look back at my febuary posts and i cant even remember the feelings. i read in astonishment. like wow ... things change... rapidly. im not sure when or how i got here. but i knew it would happen. i knew that i would give up eventually and that the faith i had would soon be non-existant. but i tried holding on but that was an #epicfail. lol look @ wat i wrote last year "&& it ended with a date to do this once again same time next year" ahhh man funniest ish to read. s/o to broken promises this year tho i wont be buyin $130 dollar tickets to no basketball game nope not i ... i dnt have time for the lyin cheating accusations and jeleousy, so i'll sacrifice a few smiles laughs and good times for my sanity(general statement) ... this year jus like last year i will be alone so fuck the 13th 14th and 15th pahaa Valentines days are mine
Thursday, July 9, 2009
i jus wanna get away!
you ever wanted to be somewhere so bad
i have...i dream of getting away
theres this place ive been trying to go for so long
its like a far away country
or a deserted island
a place with no longitude or latitude
it doesnt take a plane or train to get there
cash and credit is not accepted
i close my eyes and dream
and even while im dreaming i get distracted
distracted by the very reasons i dream
reminding me that i need to get there
and when i do im going to treasure that place
eyes closed ears open and the only sound i hear is coming from me
my breaths taken deeply and i can feel
what it feels like to be alone to feel free
a place i built for myself
a dream that could never be dreamed
never getting away
that world is just too far
i dont think that place exists
i have...i dream of getting away
theres this place ive been trying to go for so long
its like a far away country
or a deserted island
a place with no longitude or latitude
it doesnt take a plane or train to get there
cash and credit is not accepted
i close my eyes and dream
and even while im dreaming i get distracted
distracted by the very reasons i dream
reminding me that i need to get there
and when i do im going to treasure that place
eyes closed ears open and the only sound i hear is coming from me
my breaths taken deeply and i can feel
what it feels like to be alone to feel free
a place i built for myself
a dream that could never be dreamed
never getting away
that world is just too far
i dont think that place exists
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
a special little story
I GOT THIS STORY IN MY EMAIL AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH YOU GUYS.
"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake and mountains in the background. A boat floated in the water and beautiful houses lined the shores. There were flowers and trees, lovers strolling arm in arm and people walking their dogs.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
Once the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Time passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate to describe such wonderful things outside the window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
Today is a gift; that is why it is called 'the Present.' "
"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake and mountains in the background. A boat floated in the water and beautiful houses lined the shores. There were flowers and trees, lovers strolling arm in arm and people walking their dogs.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.
Once the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Time passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate to describe such wonderful things outside the window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.
Today is a gift; that is why it is called 'the Present.' "
Saturday, April 11, 2009
this too will pass
Earlier i wrote about how stressed out i was. I was lacking faith. I went to church and it made me feel alot better. It put me back on track. This is what i left with.
*FEED YOUR FAITH && STARVE YOUR DOUBTS
*FEAR TOLERATED IS FAITH CONTAMINATED
*I RECOGNIZE THAT TESTS COME IN LIFE BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL... 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13
*EVERY TRIAL HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE
*GOD WILL PROVIDE THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT
take it how you want. i dont wanna explain it because i kno what it means to me. Now im feeling like a winner because I am winning. My heart is fixed I trust God. My stripes are healed. :)
*FEED YOUR FAITH && STARVE YOUR DOUBTS
*FEAR TOLERATED IS FAITH CONTAMINATED
*I RECOGNIZE THAT TESTS COME IN LIFE BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL... 1 CORINTHIANS 10:13
*EVERY TRIAL HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE
*GOD WILL PROVIDE THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT
take it how you want. i dont wanna explain it because i kno what it means to me. Now im feeling like a winner because I am winning. My heart is fixed I trust God. My stripes are healed. :)
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